The TMI of IBS

First, forgive me for the length between posts. I have been attempting to keep up with a post a week; but hte last few weeks, I was just so indecisive about what topic to tackle next. Don't get me wrong - there is plenty to talk about and rant on; but my IBS-Muse just wasn't attacking (so to speak). I have talked a lot about the pain associated with IBS. And yes, that is a big part of this chronic illness (as well as many chronic illnesses). But this last week, I have been suffering from a different symptom that affects day to day life: fatigue. For the last week there has just been this aura of constant dragginess and drowsiness. I have been sleeping just fine. Eating fine. Staying hydrated. Stress levels are normal-ish. But if you let me go home right now, to my bed, I could easily sleep the next 18 hours with no difficulty. This is different than depression. For me, when I have fallen into a depression - the will to get up and face the day is gone. It is like a lead we...

The whole social nicety of going out to eat turns into a battleground if you are an unlucky person with allergies or sensitivities. Let me pain the picture of a recent restaurant interaction..... I am sitting at a table across from my mother. Our conversation is going well and we are going to go to one of our favorite movie events after eating (Rifftrax Live for the win!). I order a Cobb Salad without tomatoes or onions. Now since I have IBS, my sensitivities differ from others. Some reading this may be thinking - I WISH that was all I had to ask for off of a salad. But I digress....either one of those items would mean that I don't get to last through the movie due to a flare-up. After ordering, we go back to our conversation. A few minutes pass by when the manager (not the server) comes up to our table and asks me, "The no tomatoes or onions thing? Is that an allergy or just a general you don't like it?" Now this gentleman didn't mean to irk me with his...

No, seriously. What does it have to be stressed about? It doesn't have to worry about paying the bills. Or getting to work on time. It doesn't have to concern itself with the crumbling state of retail and wondering each day if my job is on the cutting block. It doesn't need to worry about getting enough sleep, having time to enjoy life, keep up relationships, pay for a wedding, deal with a significant other that is currently injured, etc and so on and so forth. But it is along for the ride. And all the anxieties in my head that keep me up at night at times affect that little guy. And he can pack a punch. Every other day, it seems someone is sharing with me an article linking anxiety and gut disorders. And knowing that I also have anxiety along with the IBS; I 100% believe that. I don't know what the future will hold for that link, but there it is. It's a step. During my college years, I was diagnosed with another acronym GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder....

Okay, so up to this point everything in this blog has been pretty neutral. There have been multiple descriptions of pain and discomfort but nothing that would really throw you into the realm of too much information (the tmi of this blog). Let's start to gently cross that line. Let's discuss "Office Bathroom Etiquette 101."  So, consider this your content warning - we are going to discuss that one room in your home or work that can be deemed "unspeakable" to some. A thought came to mind when I was preparing what to write about next. I was chuckling to myself as I remembered a bit from the book "There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom" by Louis Sachar (yes, I just dated myself). This is your typical fiction book for the pre-pubescent readers. Not exactly a coming of age, but speaks about that one thing that was so embarrassing when you were that age - walking into the wrong restroom! But that wasn't the part that popped out to my memor...

So, let's talk about the workforce. A difficult thing to navigate even without a chronic illness. There are so many rules, regulations, and personalities when it comes to jobs. For a person with no health issues, it can still be a gauntlet of social graces, sales goals, and never-ending charm of customer service. For someone with a chronic illness, the gauntlet changes a bit into number of sick days, number of breaks throughout the day, and how to combat your own body/mind to get through a shift. Again, I only speak of this from my own experience with IBS. Other illnesses have a whole mess of their own challenges that I am not qualified to speak on. But with IBS, let me take you through the journey of jobs. I started noticing I had stomach issues back in middle school. At that time, it was just called a nervous stomach. The nerves you had going through the middle school routine could cause disruptions. I didn't think much of it, I just figured it was a phase. But when I had...

Now that I have painted a picture of what a flare-up experience is for me; there are a few issues that I wanted to cover before we get too much farther into this journey: 1. IBS IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERY PERSON When I write and describe my experiences, those are unique to me. Person A with IBS may have a completely different set of symptoms than mine. Person B with IBS may have some similar symptoms and then a few off the wall symptoms. Some people with IBS can't tolerate dairy. I can tolerate dairy in moderate amounts. Some peope with IBS can tolerate lettuce. I cannot and do my best to avoid it. This is one of the things that makes this issue so difficult to pinpoint; every experience is unique. It should also be noted that there are different sub-types of IBS. I personally have IBS- D. This means my symptoms present as diarrhea prominent. There is also IBS-C which is constipation. And IBS-A which is alternating (or referred to as IBS-M for mixed). You can find plent...

In my first ranting, I spoke about being in the throws of an active flare-up. I shared a photo of what this looks like while I am at the office in a public setting. However, there is a falseness to that. You saw me, at work, in my work guise. I am wearing make-up. I am dressed in my office wear. I have done my hair for the day. This doesn't negate the massive flare-up that I had, but it doesn't show you the rawness of what that flare-up does. This is the next day. This is after taking my meds that help keep me asleep through the night so that I don't wake up in immense pain. I slept for over twelve  hours. My hope was to rest this beast. Calm it down. Then awake the next day, maybe not at 100% but at enough to get me to the shower and presentable for a full day of work. This was not the case. I will share two  photos of what the next day can look like. One where I am woken up two hours before my alarm with intense pain. I laid there for a moment, I willed the pain to go...

This is the face of IBS. This is today. In a stall at work. A normal day, just like any other. Then it suddenly happens. A slight cramp of the stomach. A feeling of dread. Your mind racing to what you ate prior to this - did it have onion in it? Garlic? Another trigger that you missed? But you were so careful. This is the face of person hiding in her office bathroom. She is in a pain that you can't notice from a snapshot. Her body is seemingly failing her or punishing her for attempting to live a life. This is the Face of IBS. Here is what you don't see on the face. You don't see my hand putting pressure on my abdomen because I have talked myself into believing the pressure helps the pain. It doesn't, but habit has me do this anyway if for nothing else but the placebo effect. You can't see the wave of pure exhaustion that washed over my body. I started out the day with so much energy, ready to tackle the pile of projects that awaited me. However the cra...