What Does My Bowel Have to be Stressed About?


No, seriously. What does it have to be stressed about? It doesn't have to worry about paying the bills. Or getting to work on time. It doesn't have to concern itself with the crumbling state of retail and wondering each day if my job is on the cutting block. It doesn't need to worry about getting enough sleep, having time to enjoy life, keep up relationships, pay for a wedding, deal with a significant other that is currently injured, etc and so on and so forth.

But it is along for the ride.

And all the anxieties in my head that keep me up at night at times affect that little guy. And he can pack a punch.

Every other day, it seems someone is sharing with me an article linking anxiety and gut disorders. And knowing that I also have anxiety along with the IBS; I 100% believe that. I don't know what the future will hold for that link, but there it is. It's a step.

During my college years, I was diagnosed with another acronym GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Just like IBS is a series of symptoms that happen to cause issues rather than an illness, GAD is a series of anxiety issues that happen to cause issues. I was very much an introvert. I didn't go out and experience what most people would call the college experience. It wasn't depression. It wasn't even always anxiety. It just never occurred to me.

I seemed to forget there was a whole world out there on the campus. And the times I would remember, I wouldn't know how to approach that barrier to being social. I don't actually know if I ever got over that barrier.

I went through a series of different medications. And went through a harsh withdrawal period (a story for another day).

But what does all of this have to do with my IBS? Is there a link? I don't pretend to know what those studies will show. I don't pretend to know what will work and what won't work in my life with these issues. I may have more of those three day flare ups that left me bedridden (I am sure it will happen). I may have weeks or months where everything seems fine (I am sure it will happen).

What do I know about IBS and Stress/Anxiety?

I remember getting ready for a job interview. And being nervous. A different career path. A different world. And I wanted to make sure I made a good first impression.

I left for this interview very early. And as I drove to my destination, that feeling began. A small panic. A stomach starting to cramp. An intense pain. I repeated my mantra over and over again in the car (for those interested I repeated "I am the master of my bowels"). I found the building, drove around it and saw that I still had 45 minutes until my interview. Rather than go inside an attempt to navigate the unknown, I drove to the nearest department store (more familiar territory) and ran to their bathroom to let loose.

This was a flare up, no doubt. But it wasn't a three day flare up because I ate something that didn't agree with me. This was all due to that fear of the unknown feeding my anxiety and stress. The moment was over as soon as I finished in that bathroom. I went to that interview, did my thing, and went home.

No other issues that day.

And sometimes that is how fast it happens. It isn't always that long lingering issue, it is sometimes a small portion of your day and time. And for anyone playing the home game, I did end up getting that position.

What was the purpose of this tangent? I am not sure. Just to work through and understand that link and what it means to me. Just like my flare-up, it isn't the same for every person.

These types of things are so unique to each person. Sometimes it is difficult to have someone to lean on or listen. Or even understand.

I don't know how many people (aside from my own family) are reading these musings. But if you are out there, let me know what it is like for you. If you don't want to comment; you can email me. If you are someone that just has a specific question about this, want to know something; I have every intention of being an open book.

I'll be sitting here, attempting to still be the master of my bowels.

Comments

  1. CherizacJune 13, 2017 at 1:49 PM

    Stress makes everything worse, it doesn't matter what it is. I'm flaring more often because my parents are coming next month to visit. My anxieties are building, I can feel them roiling under everything I say and do and think. I have SO much work to do on the house before they get here. Work, stress, anxiety is pretty much fucking with my ability to do any of that work, which of course increases the stress and anxiety more. A lovely little vicious circle. And it's one I really don't know how to break, other than dive in despite the pain and do SOMETHING. Which increases the pain....

    So I knit. And spin. And procrastinate. I've known for months they were coming, and I tried, I really did, and now we're down to like three weeks and it's crunch time and I am dreading every single moment I'm awake, and lucky me, my insomnia is moving center stage too.

    I used to be a very up, positive person.

    I want that person back.

    ReplyDelete

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